In The k(Now)

herenow

Around a week ago, I had, what would be called, a panic attack. Shortness of breath, sweating, the whole thing… I was overwhelmed because I just couldn’t cope with all that had piled up. I was behind on my bills, unaware of what was happening with my insurance, suddenly aware of my debt and confused. I was not trying my best in my classes. I was missing consultations and opportunities. I was late everywhere! It was like I’d transformed into one of the Walking Dead. Well, more like the running dead since I was late all the time!

What I realized was that despite wanting to be great at what I was doing, I was unable to achieve much because I was never truly present in my current situation. Granted, I had (very) justifiable reasons for my spacey-ness. But it was affecting my ability to excel in my undertakings.  I was in the place of my dreams, in a reality created with a lot of effort and prayers, but without the ability to just focus and take the moment in. And if there is one thing that an actor has to be, it’s present.

So…

I took a breath, made a list, and got started…

After a lot of friction, I feel back in my skin. Back in the now. And it’s already upped my ability to be excellent. So, if any of you are wondering why you’re struggling with being awesome lately, maybe it’s just because you aren’t completely there! ❤

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